How many of you actually take the bus to work? Given the economy these days I thought “What the heck, maybe I can be a little green, give back to Mother Earth and also save a few bucks in gas– I’ll take the bus to work”. Yeah- that was a good idea.
First- if you hadn’t heard, it rains in Seattle a lot. And it’s cold. So I had to stand out in the cold rain waiting for the stupid bus to get there, which it did about 20 minutes late. So now I’m wet, cold, and late for work. I get on the bus, and it’s packed–no available seats- so I have to stand there, dripping, with my cold leg muscles knotting up like a son-of-a-bitch. And stinky in there- gawd- did someone leave a dead skunk under a seat? There’s a woman jabbering at me in some language that sounds like Klingon- ‘Me no speaky Klingon, lady’
I attempted to say, but just as the words were about to leave my mouth some drunk guy barfs all over the floor spattering my shoes and pants with vomit–what with the shock of that, all that came out of my mouth was ‘grrrglbickyfrackysprk’ and I immediately closed my mouth in fear of projectile vomit entering my vocal cavity. So being cold, wet, knotted, jabbered at, vomit abused, and late for work, I figured it couldn’t get any worse. But no- I was as wrong about that as I was in deciding to take the bus in the first place. The bus blew a tire out. That only took about 1.5 hours to get fixed before we were on our merry way again.
By then I was almost speaking fluent Klingon and could fairly well understand the jabbering lady- essentially she was telling me that my fly was open and that in her culture that would be considered a marriage proposal, but I wasn’t her type. Finally made it to work, get to the security door where I need to pull out my electronic card that opens the door which I keep in my wallet- but wait- my wallet is no longer in my back pocket. And I thought the guy behind me kept touching my hiney because he was being friendly.
I’m taking my car to work from now on.